Stacey

Home Birth

My decision to have a home birth with my second baby came after I had my first back in the UK in 2017. Even though my daughter was born healthy and happy with zero signs of distress throughout, the labour itself was nearly 70 hours long, ended in an epidural and was heavy with unnecessary interventions. As a result I suffered a substantial haemorrhage, mainly due to poor medical care, and what followed was a truly awful recovery. As a first time mother, it was something I was completely unprepared for and it affected me physically and mentally for a long time afterwards.

Fast forward to January 2020 and my little family and I are living happily on the Kāpiti Coast and now pregnant with our second child. As excited as we were about having another little one to add to the brood, the thought of giving birth again after experiencing that birth trauma in 2017 filled me with a lot of apprehension.

After going through my daughter’s birth story in detail with my midwife during our first appointment, I quickly realised that because of that first experience of labour, another hospital birth just wasn't going to be an option for me. I set about learning all I could about the process of labour and why everything went so wrong for us last time. One of the most important facts I became aware of was that to birth effectively and to avoid interventions, I would need to give birth somewhere that I would feel safe with a birth team that I trust. That way, oxytocin could flow naturally and labour could progress as it should. Even though I was told I was at risk of another haemorrhage (and feeling a little worried about the lack of pain relief), that important feeling of safety for both me and my baby was going to be at home.

This wasn’t a decision that I took lightly by any means. I was fearful of more unnecessary interventions, of heavy-handed Dr’s and another awful recovery and I knew that being in a hospital was where the risk of this was highest. Staying at home would mean we had more control, no painful car journeys (before or after), I would get to recover in my own bed straight away and I wouldn’t have to worry about finding overnight childcare for my 3 year old daughter. I knew my baby would be safe, just as his sister was during her birth. The complications that could arise, if any, were going to lie with me and I fully trusted that Sheryl and Ange would keep me safe.

The labour itself started at 37 weeks + 5 days and turned out to be one of the most wonderful experiences of my life. It couldn’t have been any different from that previous birth. From first contraction to baby’s arrival was a relaxed and calm 14 hours with only around 4 hours of active labour. I didn’t even think I was in labour for the majority of it! When compared to the 70 hours (with 29 hours of active labour) from last birth, that was pretty incredible. It went as smoothly as I hoped and there were no complications for me or my son who was born healthy and happy. It was everything I’d hoped for and more. The blissful time I have had with my new little family of four has been a true gift and something I never thought possible. If I was ever to do this again it would 100% be another home birth without hesitation. Nothing quite beats being in your own bed, snuggled up with a cup of tea and your newborn without the need to be anywhere but home.

Here is my full positive home birth story...

I’d fully expected to reach over 40 weeks, like I did with my first born, so when the contractions started around lunchtime at 37 weeks + 5 days, I was convinced these were just intense braxton hicks. I went about my day playing with my daughter, making lunch and helping my husband with some odd jobs around the house. After watching me winch and timing these “intense braxton hicks” for a few hours, Ben convinced me to let Sheryl and Ange know what was happening, even if it was just a false alarm. I finally agreed but still maintained I wasn’t in actual labour as it was far too early and things weren’t ready yet! I didn’t have a birthing pool ready, I hadn’t printed out my birth affirmations and I hadn’t even hung the fairy lights we had bought to create a peaceful birthing space.

Once called, our midwife quickly came over to drop off a birthing pool, just in case it was the real thing. After observing me for a few minutes, she told us we were most likely in early labour before leaving again and asking us to keep her posted. As my first birth was almost 70 hours long from first contraction to my daughter being born, I figured we had a long wait ahead of us. We decided it would be a good idea to go down to the beach around 5pm and go for a relaxing walk to savour our last few peaceful moments as a family of 3. We wandered, played and decided to get fish and chips as a treat before heading home. While in the car, I had several extremely long and painful surges which finally convinced me that baby was perhaps well and truly on his way after all.

Once we were back at home I started using the loose “horse” lips method of helping dilation along while bouncing on a birthing ball, having a lot of hot showers, squeezing hair combs in my palms and got my husband to apply pressure to my hips with each contraction. A combination of all these things made everything bearable for a few hours but by 9.30pm the contractions were getting a little too much. I finally called our midwife again. When she arrived at 10pm I was prepared for her to find I was somewhere between 2-4 cms and to tell us we had a long wait yet. We were pretty shocked to find I was actually 8cm dilated and from there on it was all systems go.

Our midwife called her partner to come over as back up and it was time to quickly fill the pool. By this point I’d had so many hot showers as pain relief that I had used up all the hot water in the house, so Ben had to fill the birthing pool with water from the kettle and heated in pans on the stove. It felt nice to be in the water eventually and I progressed pretty quickly through transition straight to the pushing stage. We had decided beforehand that it was best for me to birth out of the pool so I moved onto the bed for the last part. It was very intense during each of those last contractions and there were certainly a couple of times I may have wished for another epidural but overall I knew I could do it. Sheer determination and repeating a few chosen birth affirmations in my head stopped me from getting overwhelmed throughout. Eventually at 2.39am after an hour of pushing, our healthy little boy Harry was born and even caught by his daddy. The immediate relief and pure joy was immense.

Clean up was quick and easy and I was in my PJs with a cup of tea and some toast before our daughter came in to ask for her breakfast. To this day I’m amazed at how simple and peaceful that night was and I’d happily do it all again in a heartbeat.